suzie

Okay, for almost 5 months I think nakaka-move on na ako sayo. I admit that you are one hell of a person. Medyo malakas ang tama mo sa akin. And I never thought that in the end, this was your way of saying "Good Night."

You have your own life now and I have mine. 

Ako ang natalo kasi sa kahit anong angulo mo tignan, ako ang nawalan. It's true that I was very passive. I was being safe. It was your decision that made our relatioship to move on a stage like this. You advanced the pawns without telling me.

I dreamt of you a hundred times over. Hoping it will be real. Hoping it will be reciprocated. 

But whatever happens, I am proud and happy to say that I really love you despite of all the things that had happened. 

I'm going away and I never wanted to tell you. 

See you in next life. 

I Love You and Goodbye.

MUSIC: All You Wanted by Michelle Branch
MOOD: relieved

 Special Thanks to Alex, kuya Gerol and kuya Kiko.

I spin. I spin. I spin.

Umiikot lang talaga ako.

MUSIC: Heartless by Kris Allen
MOOD: anxious

suzie

The Recording. --

I started to record once again my thoughts [ It was just like as Vianne said almost 4 years ago – millions of words pass by our brain every single minute. ] I began by thinking aloud my thoughts and opinions on a particular subject matter. I think then I think hard. After that, I would press the left click button on my laptop and a beep will tell me that the voice recorder would start. I started to annunciate a few words - all in English; Pauses; Deep – sighs; Heavy Breathing..

As it reached its 24^th minute mark, I pressed the button again, saving then replaying.

As the recording goes on till this day, I find emptiness. Few more words, few more scribbling down on my green notebook and a few more doodles in my sketchpad, would have made me falter.

I think then I think hard.

And again.

All over again.

 -=-

Tsk. Isang dance revo lang ang katapat nito.

SHOW: The Reader.

suzie

1 Day Before First day of Classes, Tuesday

HTG G.A. - Dencio! Thanks sa Exchange Gift.

Friday

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - with Jon, Les, Nash, Nina, Moji, Aldrin & April

(Kumain sa Hotshots then nagtimezone ulit. )

Saturday

Pre-prod Meeting - (Managerial)

Bedtime Stories (2nd Time) - with Aldrin, Carlo and Ate Kuan; special mention Rachel Pastoriza.

(Tae. Lahat na napanood ko kaya wala ng mapanood! Ahahaha. Sagot ni Carlo Kalahati  ng Ticket ko eh. Kaya sige go na. Ahaha. Si Rachel laughtrip sa Breadtalk.. )

*Okay, tapos na ang mga maliligayang araw. Ahaha.

MUSIC: Hide by Creed
BOOK: The Sandman by Neil Gaiman

suzie

focus. forget.

ignore.

move on - let go.

i made a song.

composed it. tuned it.

with a bamboo flute.

"Why leave a Paper Crane?"

BOOK: the sandman by neil gaiman

suzie

There are 3 Most Valuable Gifts that I really want to receive in my life and luckily I already have 1.

No one knows what they are. Haha. And I never plan to tell ever. [well, i'll tell if i already have it. ]

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As I saw one of the most valuable gift in my top-secret-private-box while I was cleaning a while a ago, i remembered something then came a big shift of wanting to play drums again. Well, It was never my hobby. I don't even own one nor I practice it on the arcade or such.

At least, I received one of those gift from my bestfriend in my 4th year high school. And I thank God for her; for her gift and everything. Playing the Drums was my hidden passion. Nobody knows that or nobody doesn't care. Haha. "The drumsticks gift" remind me of everything.

Well at least, its a good start for 2009.

MUSIC: Umbrella - Boyce Avenue version

suzie

and now, here i am getting all the undivided attention in creating misery.html in harlequin's website. [well, the fact that i really urge myself not to do it because devouring my sadness would result into a - notsogood tantrum slash behavior slash personality -on my part..]

haha.

laugh. i really need this. all i can manage was to laugh on my mind; write it down; type it.  Haha.

I want to read a book. A Collection of Short Stories or any "you should read Neil Gaiman's books". I remembered my last entry in multiply, a few weeks ago, the title was "i never felt so alone in my life" and of course the entry only consists of a one-liner "Haha."

*Created a back-up on all of my entries and deleted them here in tabulas. I start anew.

Why do I blog anyway?

MUSIC: Crazy Mary - Seconhand Serenade
MOOD: apathetic